You talkin' to me?

Just felt completely different very recently.
I met an individual, who in more ways than one was very much individual.
I can not explain how much I wish to change the way I am. I only hope that this way of thinking will keep up.

Sorry livejournal for not updating so often, but lately I am in need of some typing therapy and this is one of the best ways to do that.

Ah, so another winters day heads my way, I should embrace the glorious outdoors, venture into the unknown, discover something knew. But instead I sit here...
*HMMM WHAT SHOULD I DO TODAY!*

Okay seriously guys, I am bored as fuck! As most of you probably don't know, I've been living with my boyfriend of 19 months for 6 months now. And JESUS i wish i never made this decision. It's so differcult to back out of. The first reason it's so differcult is I have most of my belongings here, secondly, he'll probably get offended if I want to move, and thirdly I AM NOT MOVING BACK TO MY PARENTS. And I know if I don't act soon I'll be sitting here in the same spot aged 88 with a withered frail body, checking facebook ATLEAST twice a minute.
Dude, that is not cool.

I think another reason I'm so bored is my lack of hobbies and interests - Porn now, is becoming a main one, food another....ah and I almost forgot, I also enjoy a good, long, sleep.
Ok Henry, list of interests I need to develop:
learning spanish
working out
acting
drawing
dj-ing
finding a career
traveling
socialising

Ok, quickly I will update as I want to go outside and heat up in the sun.
1) I quit college.
2) I'm working full time at Mazarnos.
3) I have become a bit of scene queen, but have resisted any form of gayly outgoings for 4 weeks now.
4)...I lose at life
k thanks bai!

BUT I WILL RUN UNTIL MY FEET NO LONGER RUN NO MORE
AND I WILL KISS UNTIL MY LIPS NO LONGER FEEL NO MORE
AND I WILL LOVE UNTIL MY HEART IT ACHES
AND I WILL LOVE UNTIL MY HEART IT BREAKS
AND I WILL LOVE UNTIL THERES NOTHING MORE TO LIVE FOR

...There.
Needed to get that off my chest.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY MY LIVEJOURNAL!!!!

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Went to London by myself, stayed away from home for more than a month, had sex, took drugs, just wish i had more of the rock n' roll.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to become a movie star. That did not happen, I think it was because a) It's rather hard to become a movie star and b) I've discovered I like being me. When you act you get to be something bigger, better than yourself. It's just not what I want to do anymore. :-)
As for 2008...I want to get into uni, get away from Norwich, go travelling, see different cities, countries, cultures. Get more 'Life Experience'.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope, but it would be strange if they did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, thank you God.

5. What countries did you visit?
Scotland! Twice.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I would so definitely like some place of my own.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
There are too many. But the day that set the year off for me has to be April 8th. The date I lost my almighty innocence and much confusion along with it.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Coming out of the closet?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Getting two D's at A level. My intellect has fallen so much in the past year, due to laziness.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Worst occasion was when I had a terrible headache thing on my birthday.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably the pair of jeans that look so good and fit me so well. I think i've worn them about 60% of the year.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I can't think of anyone, but I'm sure there is someone who has given gross amount of time to helping lesser fortunate people somewhere. But my year has been way too self indulgent to notice.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
There is one, they probably know who they are, but that was a problem which was resolved.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Most of it was to nights out and our expensive transport systems.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This year I think was more about getting aprehensive. I started a lot of new things which I hoped which would be good, and many were. But maybe it was the point before I went to Edinburgh.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
It's a strange one but 'Disco 2000' by Pulp, it seemed to be follow me to places I never expected.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?
Happier. I think you all know that.

ii. richer or poorer?
Richer, I've had three major jobs. All minimum wage, but have provided me all i need.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sometimes I wish I had held onto my secrets more. Hidden them better. But that was not to be.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting days on my computer.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family as always.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
It took me a while, but I believe I have, I'm not sure how much in love I am, as I have never been so before.

23. How many one-night stands?
Three. Now that's honesty!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Prob at the time was Lost. But, Dave has given me the opportunity to get into 'Who's line is it Anyway' which i thank them for a lot.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Like Roper said, i'm probably less inclined to one or two peoples, but there is no one really I hate more than I did last year.

26. What was the best book you read?
Shit...books? Only book I think I read was Harry Potter...but book I wish to complete from 2006 is Captain Correlli's Mandolin, it was superb until I got too lazy and stopped reading altogether. Aaah I'm so bad.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Don't think I've made as big a discover as Morrissey and The Smiths in 2006, but I am more culturally aware of different genres, some of which I like for example Beirut, Smashing Pumpkins and Daft Punk.

28. What did you want and get?
To tell the truth sex with a girl was top of my list at the beginning of the year, but I didn't get that and rightfully so. I think it was freedom, I got the freedom I needed in 2007.

29. What did you want and not get?
I think I wanted to go to uni, but my ambitious nature has gone missing. I don't think I want much, just happiness. :-)

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Films out this year: Control
Favourite film I saw this year: Out of the many films I watched this year 'The Elephant Man' stands out as a film with the biggest heart. I was moved beyond belief.

30a. What was your favourite theatrical production of this year?
It actually is the performance by a group in my A2 drama class, 'Tis Pity She Is A Whore', breathtakingly excellent. My performance as Macbeth was good, but I didn't see it to know. Got an A though.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 18, I went to 'The Belle Vue' pub accompanied by my whole family, cousins, aunties, uncles galore. I was tremendously sick that day and it was not as good as I hoped.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having an ambition and achieving it.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
It was a mixed between emo, chav and gay.

34. What kept you sane?
Yeah, uhm don't think I was that sane, but I dunno, being more sociable?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
OBVS JAKE GYLLENHAAL...although James Dean has his quirks.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Brown staying at number ten and not calling a re-election, but that's just cos I'm bored and want change, plus he appears to be pretty shit.

37. Who did you miss?
Edinburgh.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Tyson

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
I could've been more intellectual and remember that quote but from what I've experienced this year my whole basis of it was: 'Just Do', whatever occasion comes up whether it looks good or bad, just go for it. Don't give it a second thought.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I AM WHAT I AM!"

Am I wasting time, or making the most of time?
For about 3 months my daily schedule has been busy. It appears that after many years of trying to become more outgoing, my wish has finally come true. City College and work eat up some of my time, but it seems that my friends are becoming nearly the centre of my life and it feels strangely fulfilling.

Before, (as in maybe 5 months ago) I was either glued to the television or a computer. I felt little thrill, little excitement for life. Now it's as if the whole world is full of fun and potential pleasure - with the people I like.
...but then, I think about my future.
Am I wasting time by spending it with friends rather than studying? I even turned down an audition because I would rather mingle with friends. Tcha, I feel now I should go for the easy option: FILM STUDIES. Yes, I think instead of wasting loads and loads of time rehearsing and performing in plays, I should just take Film Studies at university! Much, much, much more easier!

...Oh I'm such a slacker.

Watch some Pedro Almodovar films! I just saw another one of his masterpeices 'All About My Mother' . It was so powerful and moving. Check him out!

It's been three months since the world spun round another time and made me eighteen. It's been five months since I have become myself. I don't feel 'stuck in a rut' or unhappy. I see my life as a steep hill. I am at the moment nearing the top but it's getting slower to get there. Once i reach the top there is a sudden decline to nothingness - old age, depression etc, etc, so I'm trying to enjoy the triumphant feeling making my way 'up'.

...

I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

Had my 18th birthday, was cool, even though I was and am still very ill. I think I have tonsilitis. Might as well tell you what happened, I feel like you should know, it seems seedy not telling anyone.

So got up, felt really crap, dad came in wished me happy birthday. I was like 'Hooraaarrghh', I decided to open my parents present to cheer me up. They got me a new cd-dvd drive for my pc and quite obscurely, a fan for my bedroom. Took some pills went back to bed. Slept for maybe 4 hours, then woke up even worse, fixed in my new cd-dvd drive to my pc. Played 'Fahrenheit' which I hadn't been able to play since my old drive broke. It came to about 7pm and mum had arranged a birthday family outing at the bellview pub in norwich, all my aunties and uncles, cousins, etc were there. I was feeling so shit but I put on a happy face, lol, I was so depressing.

Everyone seemed to have a good time, which was good, my headache and sore throat were soon soothed by copious amounts of beer. My sister's friend Layla, is a chef at the pub and made us our meal, I had a Fatboy burger, yes...it was big. Can't remember too much, although I remember the pain I was in. I just hope people enjoyed themselves. Played pool and lost, talked to the barmaid innocently about nightclubs and asked her where the good ones were...yeh..uhm that's about it for my 18th. Crashed at my sister's house and slept.

Think I will have a birthday party and invite my friends like the end of the month, after exams, will see how I feel.

So I'm 18...ATFUCKINGLAST, but is this how it feels being an adult---crap?

"I am very pleased to tell you that you have been nominated to receive The Headmaster's Cup for your commitment and contribution in the performance of Drama"

WTF is The Headmaster's Cup? I want money ;_;!!!!

I think...I'm gay...I like this song WAY too much...and I think I'm in love with Alenka Gotar.

It's been ages since I updated, so thought being the first of May I should start.
YIPPPIEEE, I passed my driving test on Friday! I managed to get 9 minors, which I think is a nice number. I was really trying to keep calm and relaxed during my test as I knew having failed twice before that when I get tense and panicky I usually lose focus. So, the test began, I was settled in nice and ready, turned the key AND...EEEEEEKK, the car jolted forward. I had left the bugger in gear! It was extremely embarrassing. All the other people on their test were laughing, and I knew for sure I had failed. THEN, 2 minutes later as I was driving; now quite red of humiliation; the driving examiner turned to me and said 'It's alright, you can turn your headlights off, you don't need to see the great wall of China'...DOH! Again I had to bite my lip in embarrassment as I quickly switched them off.
ANYWAY I PASSED! I kept telling myself I wouldn't, so was completely shocked to be told 'you passed'. I had to ask the examiner, 'Did you say I passed?'. He probably thought I was weird, because after that I starting breathing heavily and punching the air with my fists.
So...got my mum's red micra. WOOP, he's a cute little thing, although he's covered in dents because of my eldest two sister's erratic driving. I'll be good to him though. THIS MEANS I AM NOW FREEEEEEEEE and no more asking my parents to get lifts! I hopefully can get to see some of you more easier, and we can go out ridin' like pimps.
In other news I'm 18 in a month and 12 days!!!

TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL... and get caressed by gay giants!

300 war gut. You should go see it. For naked butts and tits.

Well I was thinking at about 11pm on Sunday night, that my new years was going to be the worst I've ever had (apart from last year where I just watched friends episodes), I was at my Grandma's with my mum, dad, esme and grandma and was nearly dozing off to sleep on the sofa, when Esme said 'Wanna come meet Chelsea with me at the Waterfront?', but by this time I explained 'Nah I'm too tired.' She then forced me to take two pro-plus pills which woke me up in an instantly, to which I got up and quickly downed 3 glasses of wine, headed out the door and strolled to the Waterfront with Es.

When we got to the door the bouncer told us to wait around ten minutes as tickets had sold out, he kept telling other folks they had no chance getting in and turning them away. After about 5 minutes of waiting, he came through the back door and handed us two FREE tickets! (which are like a tenner each). He told us to come back in 10 minutes to let it seem less inconspicuous. So at the approach of midnight dooming we luckily got into the waterfront for free, bought a pint and got given our free glasses of champagne! We missed the countdown but got onto the dance floor just in time for Auld Lang Syne. Was great/10!

Waterfront was really good, I bumped into a few 'friends' from City College and chatted quite unhenrylike to them each for a while. I am now dreading the sober meeting with them now. But yeah, I thought 2007 would be a cool year, thus far, it has been.

1) Was 2006 a good year for you?
Gah, I have no idea, I haven't lived enough years to know what's a good year or what's a bad year, but overall this year has been pretty dull, nothing AMAZING happened. Having said that myself has changed so so much. I cry ever so easily now.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
This is a really weird one, you would've thought I'd say accomplishing the panto, but this year my favorite moment was when I was on holiday in Fife in Scotland and having a bath in the cottage we stayed in. Oh it was so great, the bath was enormous like one of those old farmhouse baths: huge, I filled it up with hot water- about 60 liters, and just lied in there for about 15 minutes. I closed my eyes and could not hear A THING, the cottage was in the middle of the Scottish countryside, so it was ever so quiet and was the most relaxing thing that has ever happened to me.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Dunno, I don't tend to dwell on bad things, probably when I found out I failed Crit Think, I felt like such a tard.

4) Where were you when 2006 began?
Watching last episode of Friends, in my room.

5) Who were you with?
Myself, ;_;

6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Hopefully not by myself

7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
My friendz! I LOVE YOU MAN!

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006?
It was probably like something GET GOOD GRADES. Lol failed that.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
No, RESOLUTIONS FUCK ASS!

10) Did you fall in love in 2006?
I have fond feelings for a certain someone yes...JAKEY PLEASE WILL YOU MARRY ME!

11) If yes, with who?
I haven't fallen in love. ;_;

12) If yes, do they know?
;_;

13) Are you still in love with them?
;_;

14) Do you regret it?
STOP IT! ;_;

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2006?
NO YAY

16) Did you make any new friends in 2006?
I made friends with Costessey lot, then deserted them, became closer to Roper and Aaron...and met lots of Forum dudes and dudettes.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
Jesus and co

18) What was your favorite month of 2006?
August?

19) Did you travel outside of the UK in 2006?
No my friend.

20) How many different states counties did you travel to in 2006?
I went to Fife!, Essex!, London! Perthshire! Edinburgh!

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
No.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Missed Roper and Aaron and few times. ;_;

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006?
OH GAWD I'VE SEEM SO MANY MOVIES THIS YEAR! HARD TO SAY! Pan's Laberynth most recent favourite movie I suppose. But HAS to be Brokeback Mountain.

24) What was your favorite song from 2006?
I Have Forgiven Jesus - Morrissey

25) What was your favorite record from 2006?
You Are The Quarry, Deluxe Edition - Morrissey <3

26) How many concerts did you see in 2006?
1! Aquabats.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2006?
...hmmm... Aquabats!

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006?
Not compared to most people in the population. It depends what you mean by a lot? I drank say a 2 pints every week if you even it out.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?
I took Aspro for headaches alot recently. I might take something more serious soon though ;-P

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2006?
Slept with Roper and Aaron and Shaun and...I think that is all.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Ashamed of too many things dude! Throwing up on Katie's hand! Lol

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2006?
Telling my mum that the cuts on my arm were from falling off a bike.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you?
Do you mean worst as in poorly lied? Or worst as in MOST HORRIBLE LIE! Well I dunno.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006?
Probably someone on Stickam. But I'm a lovely person.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2006?
The hoes on youtube, insulting my Sparkle Motion Dance! ;_;

36) How much money did you spend in 2006?
About £700, mostly on Driving Lessons!

37) What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Writing, directing, and starring in the School Panto.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
My drama teacher finding out I had a picture of Loz's vagina on my mobile and getting shouted 'PEADO PEADO' by my whole class. ;_;

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
Maybe quit Biology sooner, instead of working a whole year and failing it. Gotten laid? Dunno. I like how I am now.

40) What are your plans for 2007?
BE A MOVIE STAR LOLZ!

My turn! This is how I used to be 9 months ago.

You are a Social Liberal (65% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (26% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Now this is how I am now!

You are a Social Liberal (73% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I've turned into a Socialist!?

Today was, I think my 8th week working at Taverham Garden Center. I load compost and other 'compost like stuff' into people's cars. It's a really nice place to work and there isn't any nasty managers bossing you around. Most of the staff are like my age so that's cool, and all the older staff are disturbingly happy for being middle aged. I work with a guy called Tom Franks (has coolest name ever),it's fun because we can have a joke and bitch about the customers together. He too is extremely nice.

Anyway I saw hottest girl at work today, she was like perfect in every way. Short dark hair, about 5ft 8, tanned skin, big eyes. I tried so desperately to get her to notice me, tried walking past her a few times with the trolleys and trying to get her to glimpse into my eyes. But...I failed....probably because I'm the guy that lifts dirt. Hopefully I will see her next week.

Only crap downer at work is the pay. £4 an hour. NEEEEED MONEY!!!! Dear god please help me!

Wow i feel so...common.

-1. Apocalypse Now
2. The Apartment
3. City Of God
4. Chinatown
5. Sexy Beast
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey
7. North By Northwest
8. Breathless
-9. Donnie Darko
10. Manhattan
11. Alien
-12. Lost In Translation
-13. The Shawshank Redemption
14. Lagaan: Once Upon A Time In India
-15. Pulp Fiction
16. Touch Of Evil
17. Walkabout
18. Black Narcissus
19. Boyz 'n The Hood
20. The Player
21. Come & See
22. Heavenly Creatures
23. A Night At The Opera
24. Erin Brockovich
-25. Trainspotting
-26. The Breakfast Club
-27. Hero
28. Fanny & Alexander
29. Pink Flamingos
30. All About Eve
31. Scarface
32. Terminator II
33. Three Colours: Blue
34. The Royal Tenenbaums
35. The Ladykillers
-36. Fight Club
37. The Searchers
38. Mulholland Drive
39. The Ipcress File
-40. The King of Comedy
41. Manhunter
-42. Dawn Of The Dead
-43. Princess Mononoke
44. Raising Arizona
45. Cabaret
46. This Sporting Life
47. Brazil
48. Aguirre: The Wrath Of God
49. Secrets & Lies
50. Badlands